This is what I think about at work when the air conditioner is broken

I’m always a bit surprised when people bring small children to coffee shops. Not that it’s wrong or immoral, but I’ve been working at a coffee shop for five months and it’s just rare to see children.

I think it has something to do with caffeine or something…

A small child stood out to me today, and not because she was a child.

She was probably 5 or 6 years old.

She wore a dress with a crazy cute pattern on it.

Underneath her dress was a skirt that looked like it was once a disco ball.

On her feet were light up shoes.

And her blonde hair was a ridiculous mess.

Yes, this little girl looked like me 18 years ago.

And then I started thinking about that little girl and little Becky—the two had already become one person in my mind.

And I wanted to give her advice about her future.

All night I thought about what I should tell her.

So, I decided to just do it on my blog.

It’s kind only slightly related to what the rest of this blog is about.

But whatever.

Dear Becky,

Don’t let anybody tell you you’re not stylish. You’ll be dressing yourself for at least the next 18 years. It may not be a conventional style

I think you have two other siblings right now. Sorry, I’ve never been good at math. Actually, you’ll never be good at math. In fact, when mom puts you in to real school when you’re ten, you’ll be put into remedial math. But don’t worry about it.

I’ve learned a bit about life these past 24 years.

The first and most important thing I want to tell you is DON’T FREAK OUT!

I’m now going to impart to you “wisdom” in four parts.

Part 1: On Family

You’re going to have a lot more siblings. And I mean a LOT. You’re going to think you hate it.  You’ll passive aggressively write fiction with young heroines who are only children.

It’s therapeutic.

But you’ll one day realize that you wouldn’t want to have it any other way.  Because of this crazy people-filled upbringing you’ll only want to study or read when there’s lots of noise and people around you. Adversely, silence and being alone will make you uncomfortable.

We’re still trying to work through that.

Be nice to your younger siblings.

But not too nice. After all you, there is a certain amount of big sibling-little sibling bullying that needs to go on in order for the world to continue existing.