Saturday, September 17, 2011

This is an existential post.

There is deep wisdom within our very flesh, if we can only come to our senses and feel it.  
~Elizabeth A. Behnke
I have my most profound thoughts when I’m jogging. 
And then they’re lost when I come to my senses.
I imagine it’s a lot like getting high. I’ve been told by my pot smoking friends that when they’re high they think they can write books.
That’s how I feel when I jog.
I also learn a lot about myself when I jog. 
I was motivated to jog because I looked down and said to myself, “Becky, what the heck, do you want to be fat the rest of your life?” To which I responded quickly, “No, ma’am!” So, I grabbed my fancy jogging sneakers and took a jog.
I’ve often felt that there was more to myself then what is presented to the world. Oh, goodness, I sound like a crazy person!
In the Bible (Matthew 22:37), Jesus says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” There, He says better than I ever could. There’s a sort of dichotomy within us. (Although, I think dichotomy is the wrong word since it implies a division of two...)
Heart, Soul, Mind. 
I imagine one can interchange body and spirit with those. Sometimes I get them all mixed up.
It kind of reminds me of a funny quote I used to laugh at as a kid:  “And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” I really am bringing more than just a body wherever I go. 
Anyways, my body ought to be my best friend. I have it with me the rest of my life. Today, while jogging, I realized what a crummy friend I’ve been to myself. Although insulting myself to go jogging did motivate me, it wasn’t very kind. I think my mind was bullying my body. It usually does.
I love eating healthy. Well, I love the concept behind eating healthy. Eating healthy is the equivalent of being kind to our bodies. Today I was hungry and went to Burger King. Burger King is disgusting. But I was alone, and tend to do retardedly impulsive things when I’m by myself...or rather, with every part of myself...hmm...Anyways, it was not only enjoyable, but it was like my poor body was crying out telling me to stop bullying it, eating terrible processed foods. 
Well, I paid for it while I was jogging. It was a very difficult jog. I had the worst cramp under my right rib. I know that is probably more directly related to not breathing properly, but I felt my body telling me that I’ve been a crabby friend.
I’ve been overeating. I’ve been name calling. I’ve been eating crap. All leading to low energy and lack of exercise. 
So, another wake up call to myself. I feel like I have these every couple of months. So, once again, I’m going to be intentional about how I treat my body. What i’m putting in it. What I’m thinking/saying to it. How I’m treating it...or her...or me. 
I’m not entirely sure what this looks like. 
I’m sure she’ll (my body/Becky) tell me. 
: )
Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack.  We give it orders which make no sense.  
~Henry Miller

Friday, September 9, 2011

This blog is boring and unclever today.

Oy, it’s been a while.
Since I’ve moved to Madison, I’ve been jogging twice. The second time was today. 
It’s been really rough. 
A couple of weeks ago, I synced a jogging play list with super upbeat and motivational jogging songs. Today, there was no such playlist on my iphone. 
Somebody is sabotaging me!
I blame today’s crappy jog on the lack of a playlist. 
I spent most of the jog skipping through mellow music.
I wish I knew how to be in tune with my body. Like one of those people who can pinpoint what their body wants/needs in that moment. 
I’ve been living in a sort of catch-22 recent. Jogging gives me energy. After work, I have no energy to run. 
No jogging = No energy.
Maybe I’m still getting accustomed to midwest life. 
Maybe I’m getting accustomed to my new job. 
But gosh darn it, jogging has been hard. I didn’t even want to blog about my last jog because it was so mediocre. 
I’m needing some motivation and energy.