Saturday, September 17, 2011

This is an existential post.

There is deep wisdom within our very flesh, if we can only come to our senses and feel it.  
~Elizabeth A. Behnke
I have my most profound thoughts when I’m jogging. 
And then they’re lost when I come to my senses.
I imagine it’s a lot like getting high. I’ve been told by my pot smoking friends that when they’re high they think they can write books.
That’s how I feel when I jog.
I also learn a lot about myself when I jog. 
I was motivated to jog because I looked down and said to myself, “Becky, what the heck, do you want to be fat the rest of your life?” To which I responded quickly, “No, ma’am!” So, I grabbed my fancy jogging sneakers and took a jog.
I’ve often felt that there was more to myself then what is presented to the world. Oh, goodness, I sound like a crazy person!
In the Bible (Matthew 22:37), Jesus says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” There, He says better than I ever could. There’s a sort of dichotomy within us. (Although, I think dichotomy is the wrong word since it implies a division of two...)
Heart, Soul, Mind. 
I imagine one can interchange body and spirit with those. Sometimes I get them all mixed up.
It kind of reminds me of a funny quote I used to laugh at as a kid:  “And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” I really am bringing more than just a body wherever I go. 
Anyways, my body ought to be my best friend. I have it with me the rest of my life. Today, while jogging, I realized what a crummy friend I’ve been to myself. Although insulting myself to go jogging did motivate me, it wasn’t very kind. I think my mind was bullying my body. It usually does.
I love eating healthy. Well, I love the concept behind eating healthy. Eating healthy is the equivalent of being kind to our bodies. Today I was hungry and went to Burger King. Burger King is disgusting. But I was alone, and tend to do retardedly impulsive things when I’m by myself...or rather, with every part of myself...hmm...Anyways, it was not only enjoyable, but it was like my poor body was crying out telling me to stop bullying it, eating terrible processed foods. 
Well, I paid for it while I was jogging. It was a very difficult jog. I had the worst cramp under my right rib. I know that is probably more directly related to not breathing properly, but I felt my body telling me that I’ve been a crabby friend.
I’ve been overeating. I’ve been name calling. I’ve been eating crap. All leading to low energy and lack of exercise. 
So, another wake up call to myself. I feel like I have these every couple of months. So, once again, I’m going to be intentional about how I treat my body. What i’m putting in it. What I’m thinking/saying to it. How I’m treating it...or her...or me. 
I’m not entirely sure what this looks like. 
I’m sure she’ll (my body/Becky) tell me. 
: )
Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack.  We give it orders which make no sense.  
~Henry Miller

Friday, September 9, 2011

This blog is boring and unclever today.

Oy, it’s been a while.
Since I’ve moved to Madison, I’ve been jogging twice. The second time was today. 
It’s been really rough. 
A couple of weeks ago, I synced a jogging play list with super upbeat and motivational jogging songs. Today, there was no such playlist on my iphone. 
Somebody is sabotaging me!
I blame today’s crappy jog on the lack of a playlist. 
I spent most of the jog skipping through mellow music.
I wish I knew how to be in tune with my body. Like one of those people who can pinpoint what their body wants/needs in that moment. 
I’ve been living in a sort of catch-22 recent. Jogging gives me energy. After work, I have no energy to run. 
No jogging = No energy.
Maybe I’m still getting accustomed to midwest life. 
Maybe I’m getting accustomed to my new job. 
But gosh darn it, jogging has been hard. I didn’t even want to blog about my last jog because it was so mediocre. 
I’m needing some motivation and energy.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Shorts and Sexually Charged Music.

I had hoped that I could have a better jog today then I did yesterday.
I decided I would jog earlier, 9:00 a.m. to be exact.
I decided to wear shorts. Jogging shorts. 
I decided to do it shortly after I woke up and before I had breakfast.
I was actually able to finish the route that I had planned for yesterday. It’s a 3 mile route. No, I didn’t jog the whole thing. That would be exciting, but not yet. For some strange reason I have yet to jog 30 minutes without stopping like I did twice in California. It’s upsetting. I’m assuming that I have to work my way up again. I jogged my first mile in 11 minutes. I think that is probably my record so far. 
I’m terrified of stray dogs. Well, dogs with unaccompanied owners. There at the end of my first mile was a stray dog. I suppose I ought not to call it a stray since it had a collar around it’s neck. But he looked mean. I told it in my sweetest high pitched voice that it needed to go home. It decided to run along side of me and eventually ahead of me every once in a while looking back at me. Needless to say, he didn’t bite me.
I finally had to stop and walk and 19 minutes. I walked for about 2 minutes and then jogged some more. The whole route took about about 40 minutes. Three miles in 40 minutes. 
Meh, I can do better. 
One of the things that I kept thinking to myself was, “Wow, I’m glad nobody I know can see me. I’m wearing shorts!” And then I realized how idiotic that sounded. Why would anyone be offended if I’m wearing shorts? I’ve always prided myself on not caring too much what other thought of me. But, I think part of that has been a lie. I don’t wear bathing suits or shorts in front of anybody who isn’t my family. All in the thinking that my body will offend somebody. And then I realized that I don’t get offended when I see girls my size or bigger wearing shorts. I actually get pretty excited when I do see them. I’m all like, “Yeah, you go girl! Be proud of yourself!” Why can’t I do the same for myself?
I’ve got to change my thinking.
Something else I’ve noticed. I jog better to sexually charged music. Haha. They ALWAYS have a better beat and are nice and fast-paced. I need to make a jogging play list. I usually just put my ipod on shuffle. Which can get annoying, cuz there are a whole ‘lotta songs I have no desire to listen to when I jog. 
Does anybody have any great music that keeps them motivated when they jog or exercise? I’m looking for some good upbeat stuff. It’s a plus if it’s sung by a handsome black man. 

Humidity is a *Insert Profanity*

If you’ve never been to Southeast Georgia, or Georgia, or The South, then I’m morally obligated to educate those who’ve never experienced Georgia’s humidity.
Humidity is something I forgot about while I was in California. Well, not entirely. I would reminisce about how great my skin felt on the East Coast as opposed to the dry, flaky skin I experienced on the West Coast. 
You see, jogging was, (dare I say it?) “easy”. I’ll settle with easier. Jogging was easier on the West Coast. Here in Georgia we have humidity. 
Humidity is clingy. (My high school teachers would be proud to know I’m using personification in my writing.) Humidity won’t leave you alone. Humidity is a warm, wet blanket that covers you from head to toe. Humidity doesn’t care if you’re standing still in the shade to cool off. Humidity doesn’t care if you’re jogging or trying to radically change your lifestyle. Nope. She’s always there. Yeah, I think humidity is a woman. A needy woman who won’t leave you alone even though you’ve given her clear body language that you don’t want her there. 
Yesterday, I decided to run for the first time in my parents’ neighborhood. In Cali, I jogged at night after 8:00 because it was cool outside then, but I decided to do it in the morning-ish this time. It was about 10:40ish. 
It’s interesting to me, because this is the house I grew up in. I remember jogging the same route and not being able to do it. I’m sure most people do this, but I would pick up landmarks such as a telephone pole or a tree and tell myself that I would start or stop jogging when I got to those points. When I’ve jogged this route before I was never able to jog a mile. Jogging yesterday was exciting for me because in that first mile I passed all of those landmarks that I used to have to stop at. Goodness, I was such a pansy. 
However, after I finished my first mile yesterday Humidity was caught up with me. I was already sweating profusely. The hot Georgia sun was beating down on me. I was wearing my loose Walmart Danskin faux yoga pants. To say, “it was hot,” would be a complete understatement. It was miserable. I started slowing down. And finally I had to stop and walk whenever there was shade around. I was planning on going for 30 minutes. But I said, “Screw this!” I got home after 22 minutes. I don’t think I even jogged two miles. 
Give me water. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Athens and the Hills of Purgatory.

Home Sweet Home
I love Athens, Georgia. 
I truly think it is one of the greatest cities ever. Unfortunately, I graduated from UGA and no longer have a good enough reason to stay in Athens. 
Call me when there is a film company started here, and I’ll move in a heartbeat. 
Anyways, I’m in Athens for a few days. I am going to take a test to get Final Cut Pro Certified. (I’m nervous.) The one thing that makes Athens beautiful is it’s hills. However, those devoted to the art of exercise, Athens is Hell, well, I’ll settle for Purgatory. I could never call Athens “Hell”.
So, today my friend Lorraine and I decided to go for a jog. She had just moved into her apartment and doesn’t know her neighborhood well. After some making split second decisions on where we would turn and jog next and  some good conversation, we came across it. 
The biggest. Hill. Ever. 


In all the summer that I’ve been jogging I haven’t had to jog up any hills. 
This was a new experience for the both of us. 
It was rough. 
We decided to cut our jog short from 30 minutes to 20. I say that since we jogged up the hills it's the physical equivalent of jogging for 30 minutes. 
We’ll have sore booties in the mornin’. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I didn't jog last night. 
I didn't want to bring sweaty clothes in my suitcase and they had a lovely lil going away BBQ for me. I loff my family. They are great.

The next time I jog it'll be in Georgia. I leave for Wisconsin August 25th or 26th. So, then I'll be jogging in Wisconsin. That should be fun. 

So, I'm at the airport right now. 
Adios, California. It's been fun. 

Sunday, August 14, 2011

I want to make Dianna Zheng laugh.

Today was a mediocre jog. I’ve done worse. I’ve done better. I jogged the first mile in 13 minutes. Wasssuppp! But that second mile was, as my lil brother likes to say “re-dik-uh-lo”. I was going at such as snail’s pace and I had to walk about a minute twice. If my math serves me correctly I walked about two minutes of my 29 minute jog. Yeah, 29 minutes. Can you say, “FAIL”? Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic.  I mapped out my route tonight and it was 2.21 miles. 
It’s starting to get dark earlier. I’m sure this happens annually, but I’ve never noticed before. At the beginning of the summer it started getting dark at 9 p.m. Now it’s dark by 8:30. As I’m jogging under the creepy fenced in overpass, I can almost hear my grandma’s voice screeching at me that I “just don’t understand California,” which is some sort of cryptic message that reminds me to be careful. You know, I’m just a naive Southern Peach from the land of sweet tea and “yes, ma'ams”. But I digress. My point being, I don’t like to jog in the dark, but if I jog any earlier my dinner is probably not digested. I’m too much of a pansy to jog in the morning. 
I feel morally obligated to have an awkward jogging montage scene in the next film I make. Art imitates life. 

Sunday, August 7, 2011


Yeah...I'm way too sore to exercise tonight.
In other news I can't hear out of my left ear. I went swimming yesterday with my cousin Jeannie and her kids and I think the pool water got in my ear. I've been ferociously putting hydrogen peroxide in my ear. It was done nothing yet.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Hot girls jog with their hair down.

Last night I went to the club with my friend Sukhi. I had a lot of fun. I danced. A lot. I danced so much that my legs are super sore. 
But, I needed to jog tonight. 
I think I made up a stereotype in my head. Which is hot girls jog with their hair down. So, I decided I was going to defy my made up stereotype and jog with my hair down. The headphones I wear when I jog are my grandfather’s. For some strange reason I still haven’t invested in a decent pair to go jogging in. His headphones fit behind my head. But what I didn’t realize (until it was TOO LATE) was that my ponytail holds up the headphones on the back of my head. As I was jogging, my headphones kept falling from around my ears and to my neck. I was forced to sport that douche-bag look of headphones around the neck. I could hardly hear my music. It was more like a few rhythmic beats was all I could hear. I did not feel like I was jogging in the montage sequence of a hilarious romantic comedy.
Anyways, so I couldn’t hear my music. And the more I jogged the more my poor legs were killing me. I probably should’ve had a day of rest for my poor body. I’ve been working it really hard. My jog was a fail. I think I jogged a total of a mile and half. I had to start walking after 17 minutes. I didn’t even try for more than 30 minutes. 
I don’t want to talk about it. 
I think my jog would’ve gone better if I hadn’t tried to be a hot girl.
Just stick with what you know, Becky.

I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed. And it's not even 10:00 p.m.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

A little less conversation, a little more action, please.

I decided that it would be in the interest of prudence to not jog again in my Harry Potter shirt. Maybe I’m using prudence incorrectly.
I decided to wear a tank top. Not that it makes a difference. Only today the general populace were privy to my pasty white shoulders accented by freckles that glistened like  diamonds when mixed with sunlight and sweat. I just tried to make myself sound cool for being pasty white. Did it work?
I did pretty similar jog much the same jog I did yesterday, but I went a different route towards the end. Today I jogged a straight 27 (about 2.2-ish miles)minutes without having to stop and walk. When I stopped and looked at my phone, I was disappointed in myself. I mean, come on Becky, is jogging for 30 minutes REALLY THAT HARD?! But then, I thought about it in light of everything else. I’m making pretty amazing progress. This is the girl who had never ran a mile before a couple of weeks ago. I mean, on tuesday, I could only jog for 15 minutes, and if my math serves me correctly, I added 12 minutes on to that. 
To people who don’t jog but want to or are afraid to, I offer you this encouragement: just do it. If you have to stop and walk, don’t get angry or upset. If you keep “practicing”, it’ll happen. 
I’m still waiting for my pink unicorn to bring me a bag of endorphins. I think I’ll write a letter to the tooth fairy and ask her to put them under my pillow. 
This is a shout out to Lindsey Kay Rodgers. 

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Magic Powers? Thanks, Harry.

I think it was my new Harry Potter shirt. It had to have been bewitched. 
I did what I’ve NEVER done before. 
I jogged for 20 minutes without stopping, waited for a stoplight to change and jogged the last 10 minutes home. 
I actually teared up a little on my jog. I’m so proud of myself. I may tear up as I write this. hah. 
Let’s see, what did I do differently today. I mean, yesterday pretty much sucked. Well, I jogged a route that I’ve never gone before. I jogged down a sort of highway route to a Greek Baptist Church, (interesting I know...), I cleared my mind almost completely, I kinda became a zombie, and I was wearing my new Harry Potter shirt. 
Honestly, I don’t have anything clever or witty to say. I’m just super proud of my body tonight. Let’s keep doing this, Becky.
Maybe I shouldn’t wash my Harry Potter shirt...
Post Script --
I found this really cool site called I was able to see where I ran and how many miles it was. I jogged exactly 2.19 miles tonight. That's what's up. 

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Dear God, thank you for black people.

I left my house at 8:20 for my jog. 
I was really excited. 
Because, I was planning on having the most epically awesome jog of my life. 
And I was going to blog about it. 
And I was going to inspire people. 
I even started thinking of witty titles for tonight’s blog.
But I must confess, this jog was nothing of the sort.
I started off on a really good pace. I wasn’t sprinting, but I was going a bit faster than usual. Steady. It felt good. I clutched my iphone and jammed along to the goodies on Shuffle. 
I finally started to feel like I need to start walking.
I’m quite sure it’s been at least 20 or 25 minutes, I thought to myself. I’ll just stop at the stop sign. I checked my phone. ONLY 15 MINUTES HAD GONE BY! WORST DAY EVER! haha. 
I decided to walk the end of the street where I would continue jogging again. I think I walked for 3 or 4 minutes.
And then, I heard him singing to me. No, not Jesus or Angel, but Taio Cruz. How could I let this beautiful black man with his catchy dance song down? I couldn’t. So I slowly jogged some more. Oh, I was aching. I didn’t dare look at my phone. Because if I did look at my phone then somebody will have probably created a machine that distorts time ensuring that only something like 60 seconds had passed instead of 15 more minutes. I kept jogging until I couldn’t go anymore. 
Rats! I had only gone 6 minutes. I skipped back on my iphone and let Taio Cruz sing to me again. It was just what I needed. I jogged until the song was over. 
I looked at my phone. 
It was 8:49. 
Yeah, somebody created that machine. 
I wanted to vomit. 
I didn’t even do my cool down walk. 
I collapsed on the living room floor of my grandparents’ living room. 
The room was spinning.
It was only after a few minutes that I could sit up and stretch. 
Boy, that was rough. 
And I still can’t come up with a clever title for today’s post. 

Ingrid Michelson and the 6 marry murderesses of the cook county jail.

I decided to jog Sunday morning instead of Sunday night because I was going to a family BBQ. 
I put my ipod on shuffle. The first song that came on my ipod was a weepy song by Ingrid Michelson. Something about losing her man. I listened to it all the way because it had a good beat. But, I was slightly perturbed. I wanted to hear something empowering to women. Not something crying out for lost love. Well, I got my wish, because the next song up was the Cell Block Tango from Chicago. I’d say, that was by far the polar opposite. “He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.” Yes, a song about 6 women who killed their lousy husbands. Now that’s empowering. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to completely empower me. Because my jog sucked. I dunno if it was because I jogged at 8:30 a.m. instead of 8:30 p.m., or if I forgot to take my iron supplement, or I hadn’t eaten anything that day. But it was uber  difficult. I barely could jog a mile, and I took turns jogging/walking back the second mile. 
Somehow I feel like it’s all connected. Self-worth, exercise, sex, men, attraction. I don’t want it to be connected. 
I decided that it won’t be.
If only I can convince my brain. 

Saturday, July 30, 2011

This is what Santa looks like jogging.

This weekend I am house/pet sitting at my aunt and uncle’s house. It’s a quiet little part of West Sacramento. Slightly in the country. I’ve jogged here with my Aunt Tammy several times.
Yesterday (friday night) was the first time that I have jogged in slightly over a week. I’ve done this before. Whenever I start up exercising after a “vacation” I feel like it’s going to be really tough on my body. But my body is super sneaky. Last night felt too easy. I jogged my two miles in 25 minutes. It’s like my body’s like, “Hey, Becky, this wasn’t hard. DO IT ALL THE TIME!” I suspect that tonight will be tough, though on me. 
I think I actually jogged a mile and half without having to stop to walk! But I’m a terrible judge of distances. When I jog and wear glasses I have to push them down my nose and look like Santa Claus. When I tried to wear them normally against my face they would move up and down while I jogged. It was like I was momentarily blind. Hence, Santa Claus style of wearing my glasses down at the bottom of my nose. I’m sure I looked ridiculous. But I like seeing.
I think I do better when I’m jogging alone then with another person. I’m a very contemplative person. It’s a good time to clear your thoughts. Especially out here in this countryside. I passed lots of fields. It was beautiful. I’ve noticed that when I jog with my Aunt Tammy I seem to do worse. I haven’t figured out yet why that is the case. 
Change of subject, I can’t imagine anything better then finding a perfect harmony to fit a song you’re listening to. 

Friday, July 29, 2011

I am not dead.

I am not dead. I have had four people remind me that I have not written recently. Thanks for looking at for me guys. Since people are reading this I know I have to do this!
Wow, I have not exercised in about a week. But I can honestly say it has not been because I didn’t feel like it. It’s been a pretty busy week. My cousin gave birth to her son, Boston James Clark. He’s so stinking cute and has a head full of black hair. My brothers were here over the weekend and I visited them and my grandmother in Nevada. I’m house/pet sitting my Aunt and Uncle’s house. 
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I do that from time to time. And I’ve discovered a flaw in my logic. I seem to be subconsciously  telling myself that when I lose X amount of weight THEN I’ll be attractive and I’ll love myself better. Loving myself seems to have conditions. But, what I need to do is love myself unconditionally now. The way I am today. I need to love myself with the cellulite. I need to love myself even if my skin is pasty white. I need to love myself even though my thighs touch, even though my hair is  curly. 
I’m not entirely sure how to do that. I’ve been told and I read somewhere that one ought to give themselves true compliments. I need to thank my body for taking me this far. I need to thank my legs for allowing me to walk. I need to thank my skin for not giving me skin cancer. I need to thank my hair for not receding yet. haha. 
How do you love yourself? 

Friday, July 22, 2011

This is what I have to say.

I’ve been mentally in a pretty crappy place this past week. Becky the bully is super mean to me. She keeps telling me that I’m wasting my time. I’m on my way to believing her.

But I think I know why I’m not making much progress. I keep convincing that all I need to do is jog my two miles every night and the 50 pounds will magically drop off. I think I’m delusional.

I work with a girl named Sukhi who has lost 30 pounds by doing this very strange diet where she has two days of drinking just milk and water and two days of eating just vegetables. She’s cut all carbohydrates from her diet. I think that’s incredibly extreme. But extreme seems to be the way to achieve weight loss, and I’m not sure that I’m willing to be severe in my daily diet.

Things I have changed: I don’t eat after 8 p.m. I know that It’s probably supposed to be after 6, but I used to ate late in to the night. I’m conscious when I eat…wait, I don’t mean that I’m awake when I eat…but of course I am, I mean to see that I am aware when I eat. I’m looking at portions and always asking myself if I’m full or just want it. Right now it seems to be working only half the time. I’ll tell myself that I deserve this extra helping. But, it’s a work in progress.

This past Monday I went jogging with my Aunt Tammy at her place. She can only do it right after work, which is about 6:00 p.m. It was pretty awful. It was so hot and the sun was beating down on me. She asked me before hand if I wanted to try for 2.5 miles instead of 2. Overexcited me said “2.5!” Ugh. That was not enjoyable. I jogged about a mile without stopping, but after that I was walking/jogging/walking/jogging. It took us about 40 minutes to do the 2.5 miles.

On Tuesday, I had no desire to do ANYTHING!

On Wednesday, my brothers came into California. They are visiting the West Coast for about 10 days. My brother Daniel said he wanted to go out and jog with me. We went out about 9:00. Ordinarily I wouldn’t jog that late, but I felt that since I had my bro with me, he would protect me from rapists. Hah. I felt like I was dragging him down with my pace and general out-of-shape-ness, but he really challenged me to keep going;. I jogged a mile, walked for about 4 minutes, and then pretty much jogged the rest of the second mile. He was super encouraging to me.

On Thursday, I ate dinner at 5:30. I thought for sure that it would be early enough for it to be digested in time to go jogging at 8:30. But, I think it was such a heavy meal, that I still felt super full. Jogging on a full stomach gives me cramps. So I didn’t jog tonight. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to jog until Sunday. I’m going to Nevada this weekend to visit my grandma. But I know for sure that she’ll feed my pretty healthy. I have that to look forward to.

So, I’m at work and can’t write anymore. Hopefully I’ll update on Sunday.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Becky the bully and her new jogging shoes.

On Wednesday I went through some sort of weird mild depression “thing” that I hadn't felt since Middle School. It may have been partly because I wasn’t going to be able to go the midnight showing of Harry Potter premiere, but I think a lot of it was stupid female emotional rationalizing. I was feeling frustrated with the lack of results I was seeing in my body. I’ve read and seen so many cases where people’s clothes start to feel looser, or they lost such and such inches in Blank amount time. I honestly don’t feel any different. If anything, I think I gained weight in the form of more cellulite. I’m not weighing myself, but I can see more cellulite on the back of my thighs. I kept throwing insult after insult to myself and I made myself cry when I went for my jog that night. One of the insults being that no man would find me attractive until I lost 30 pounds. I felt better after I went for the jog...and after I cried at my stupid self.
On Thursday I had absolutely no interest in doing any form of exercise.
On Friday night I saw Harry Potter during my regular exercising time.
On Saturday I ate a lot of carbs. And then went for a 30 minute jog. It was nice. Actually, it felt really great.
On Sunday, I bought some new running shoes. They feel amazing. They are the brand Avia, which I’ve never heard of, and they were $39.99. When I wear them, I feel like my feet are all bundled and swaddled like baby Jesus on Christmas day. However, I had a pretty crappy jog tonight. I jogged for 10 minutes and just had no energy to keep walking. I walked for another 10 minutes. I tried to jog for the last 10 minutes, but I could only jog for about 4 minutes. I think it’s because I didn’t I take an iron pill today. 
Tomorrow I’m planning on jogging with my aunt Tammy down at her place. So, hopefully I’ll have motivation to jog the whole time. 

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

And my body was stronger than my mind.

For some strange reason I wasn’t that hungry at breakfast. Now, I know a lot of people who are like “Blech, I can’t eat breakfast in the morning or I’ll throw up!” This blows my mind. I’m ALWAYS hungry for breakfast. I mean, you’ve been starving for probably 8 hours. Anyways, I didn’t feel hungry when I woke up. But I ended up eating about 9 strawberries and a cup of coffee. I kept debating with myself that I should eat more, cuz knowing myself I’ll be hungry in an hour... when I won’t have access to a delicious breakfast. I ended up with not eating anything else before work. 
But, I was right. I brought a Pomegranate Odwalla bar to work. That did a pretty good job of tiding me over until lunch. 
For lunch I had a toasted bagel with cream cheese topped with smoked salmon. I also had a peach. it was deeeee-licious! I heart smoked salmon.
At about 3:00 I ate a Special K bar for a snack.
After work, the Bubs had dinner all ready to go when I got in at 5:30. 
It was a pulled beef (I think that’s what you call pulled pork, but with beef...), with baked fries. I was not feeling the salad at all. I know, that I’m suppose to have some green on my plate, but I just didn’t want it. Plus, I don’t like the salad mix my grandma buys. I like more of a spinach base, and the one she buys is more of a romaine lettuce base. 
At 8:13 I started my jog. I told myself that I would stop jogging at 8:45, so that would be 32 minutes. I’m trying to work my way up. And, I was feeling goooood today. I jogged a whole 20 minutes, which I think is just shy of a mile and a half without stopping to walk! I was so proud of myself. I kept telling myself I would stop, but my body was like, “Hell, no, Becky. You got this. Keep going.” It was really awesome. However, one thing I noticed, is that I’m not panting as hard, feeling like I worked as hard when I forced started. Does this mean I’m plateauing? I think tomorrow I will try sprinting after I hit my mile marker. 
This whole jogging journey has been so incredible for me. It’s definitely a very, very slow process, but it’s coming together. I was reading some Facebook notes that I wrote from two summers ago about my exercise habits. And I back then I could only jog for five minutes at a time before I had to stop and walk. I’m just really proud of myself. I jogged almost a mile and a half...about 20 minutes before I had to stop and walk.
Any runners out there?
How do you switch it up so you don’t plateau?

Monday, July 11, 2011

I have nothing interesting to say.

Breakfast: one piece of leftover breakfast casserole from yesterday morning. (contains eggs, potatoes, cheese, onions... and other seasoned goodness), one orange, one cup of coffee with a spot of cream.
Lunch: a delicious turkey and cheese sandwich on wheat with spinach, tomato, purple onions, mayo and mustard, a cup of apple sauce, a handful of pomegranate raisin things....
snack: blueberry special k bar, a granola bar
dinner: piece of steak, mashed potatoes, and a medley of corn, carrots, and peas.
dessert: apple pie and yogurt ice cream.
I didn’t feel like exercising today. 

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Gah, I need new running shoes.

Today was a pretty lazy day. I never sleep in, but today I slept in till 10:20. The grandma made some sort of egg casserole thing with onions and cheese on it. It was accompanied by a bagel lightly toasted, a cup of OJ, and a cup of coffee.
I didn’t really get hungry for lunch, which is weird for me. But I ended up eating a leftover cupcake from the shower and a peach. 
At 6:00, my grandparents went down the street to a BBQ, and told me they would bring me back whatever was there for dinner. But I was getting hungry. So I snacked on a handful of kettle chips dipped in hummus and a handful of carrots. Grandma brought me back a plate of food with macaroni salad, a small chicken breast and two small pieces of steak. I knew it was too much food. But I ate it all. 
I was really excited about my jog tonight. Especially with the realization that I can jog a mile. I decided to experiment with my jogging “style”, I tried running, not jogging for a little ways. But I noticed that my legs felt uneven. It felt kinda like I was hopping on one leg and not the other. I had the urge to just hop on the other leg so it would feel even, but I knew that would look absolutely ridiculous. So, I jogged to the mile point, (it took 14 minutes), but my left foot started hurting. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t stretch correctly, I was running instead of jogging, or if I need new shoes. I suspect that I need new jogging shoes. I’m not entirely sure what shinsplints are, but I imagine that this is what it felt like. 
It wasn’t excruciating pain, but I kept thinking “What if I injure myself?” I currently don’t have medical insurance since I graduated from college, so I mostly walked back on the second mile home. I was pretty upset with myself. 
As I write this, I must comment on the soreness of my left butt cheek. 
That is all. 


This is one of my favorite songs.
I found it appropriate to post here.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

*Insert inspirational quote about a journey, and walking, and taking a step*

This morning I came downstairs and all I wanted to eat for breakfast was a toasted bagel with cream cheese and smoke salmon. But my grandmother had been up since 5 a.m. cooking baked goods for my cousin’s baby shower. There was a red velvet cupcake, about 80 cupcakes, and probably 30 sugar cookies. I was FORCED to eat a sugar cookie and a cupcake. About an hour later I was finally able to make that bagel.
We got to the baby shower and there was dessert EVERYWHERE. There was cupcakes, there was coffee cake, there were muffins, there was Mike and Ikes on each table, then there was caramel popcorn, there was two types of quiche...what wasn’t there to eat?
First, I snacked on the Mike and Ikes. I dunno how many I had. I’d like to say less than a box that you would buy at the movie theaters...We can only hope. Then I had a plate of quiche with veggies in it, a tiny sliver of coffee cake, and a medley of grapes, strawberries, and I think raspberries. Then I ate a few more Mike and Ikes. Then I munched on a few pieces of caramel popcorn. Then I was forced to eat another cupcake. Then I pulled pretzels out and dipped them in hummus. 
I think that was it for snacking.
When I got home to the grandparents’ I had 2 pieces of strawberry licorice. It’s not even good. Why do I do this to myself?
For dinner, I made myself a roast beef sandwich with provolone cheese, pickles, tomatoes, and purple onions. I dipped my sandwich into hummus between bites. I then had a piece of string cheese, and a plate of strawberries and cottage cheese.
Eating was a fail today. I ate too much dairy and too many sweets. I’m surprised I didn’t go into a junk food comma.
In other news, I CAN STRAIGHT UP JOG A MILE!  And apparently I’ve been doing this for over a week. 
Earlier today my aunt suggested I run to a certain street, Park Street to be exact. After dropping me off from the baby shower, she texted me and told me that it was a mile from my grandparents’ house to Park Street. 
So, if my math serves me correctly a mile there and a mile back is 2 miles. I jogged all the way to Park Street without stopping. Well, I had to wait for a light to change in order to cross the street, but that’s different than having to walk because you just can’t jog anymore. I checked my phone. I jogged a mile in 12 minutes. I kept going. I had to stop jogging and walk for four minutes, but then it was business as usual. 
I stopped jogging at exactly at 30 minutes. And jogging for 30 minutes is two miles.
My favorite part about jogging is the cool down walk after my jog. I tuck my tummy in, a fancy phrase for suckin’ it in, and I roll my shoulders back and for some odd reason I feel attractive in that cool down. 
I’m still waiting for the fabled endorphins. Maybe you only get them if you jog for 31 minutes. 

Friday, July 8, 2011

he ran. he is happy.

Thanks, Ellie for the inspiration!
I love this. This could be me.


I forgot to mention that I feel thinner. It's not something I can put into tangible measurements. I don't know if I can even say that I have less cellulite on my thighs. Maybe I'm only appreciating my hard work and liking myself better for it. Maybe I have higher self esteem. All I know is that I have more love for the girl looking at me in the mirror.

A new adventure in the jogging world.

I don’t want to talk about Fourth of July Weekend.
I forgot to write down what I ate yesterday. But I went jogging for 30 minutes. It was my favorite jog yet. I jogged all around West Sacramento. In my previous jogs, I have stuck mainly to the little neighborhood that my grandparents live in. It has lots of little houses. A couple of days ago, I decided to venture out on the main road, West Capitol for 8 minutes of my jog. I passed lots of hotels and Mexican restaurants, and gas stations. I liked the view better. 
So anyways, yesterday I jogged passed the Raleys Grocery Store, the library, the community college, another grocery store, and finally back in the little neighborhood of my grandparents. The only thing I didn’t like was since I was jogging in the city, I had to wait for the stop lights. That sucked. When I would stop, I could tell that fellow stopped cars would eye me curiously. I did not like this. At one stop light a guy on a bike tried to do cool bike tricks to impress me. Sorry bike guy, I wasn’t impressed. 
It’s becoming easier and easier to jog for longer distances at a time. I think that I straight up jogged for 20 minutes, then walked for 4 then jogged the rest of the way. I want to eventually be able to jog for straight up 30 minutes without stopping to walk. And then who knows, maybe jog for a straight up hour! Now that’s a goal!
Today (July 8, 2011)
I woke up and made myself a bowl of honey nut cheerios in almond milk. Then I ate a banana and a glass of OJ.
At work, I ate a blueberry Special K bar.
For lunch, I had leftover dinner from last night. That included lasagna, squash from the grandparent’s garden, and a cup of Greek yogurt with blueberries in it for dessert. 
I have found myself being incredibly hungry between 4:00ish till dinner. So, I brought a granola bar. I can’t remember the brand. It’s pretty substantial though. 
My grandmother didn’t want to cook for dinner. And that’s alright with me. She wanted to get Papa Murphy’s pizza, which is a take and bake pizza. But I suggested In and Out since I wanted to go there before I left Cali. She said that was a good idea. 
For those on the East Coast, In and Out has a pretty good reputation not quite different from Chick-Fil-A. They make their fries fresh from actual potatoes everyday, not frozen! Each restaurant is privately owned and not franchised. And their burgers are pretty tasty!
I ordered hamburger with lots of delicious veggies on it and the fries. It was amazing. Pretty great portion size. 
I had every intention of going for a jog after dinner. I even changed in to my jogging clothes. But then I went up stairs sat on the couch because it felt so nice and warm and fell asleep for two hours.  I think I may have had an “iron deficiency crash”. I’m not even sure if that’s what it’s called, or if that’s what’s even happening. All I know is that I can tell if I don’t have enough iron I have an incredibly urge to stop everything and sleep. Which is weird that I would have one today, because I took to pills this morning.” Anyways, I woke up at 9:30 p.m. I refuse to jog in the dark. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow. 

Friday, July 1, 2011

Becky and the burping burritos.

June 30th

I’m trying to remember everything from yesterday.
Let’s see, I woke up and had breakfast. It was a cup of coffee, a bowl of Raisin Bran Crunch, and an apple.

As I may have mentioned in an earlier post, pizza is the bane of my healthy diet’s existence. So, to my great fortune, today was my cousin’s last day working at All Phase, so my aunt bought pizza. Yeah. I didn’t do so bad though. I had one slice of the combo pizza. (I had to pull off all the meat. Stupid, dirty pork!) And then I had about a cup and a half of leftover pasta, and then an apple.

When my Papa picked me up from work he informed me that we would be going out to eat for Mexican food. Yum. I love Mexican. We went to a cute little hole-in-the-wall placed called Emma’s.

I ordered a beef taco, a cheese enchilada, and beans on the side. And of course, there was chips and salsa. Mexican food is pretty heavy. Which I had forgotten about.
So, I was feeling pretty stuffed.

I decided to do a jog today. Now, every time that I jog it’s either too hot or don’t bring some sort of time piece. This means I’m usually only gone for 20 minutes. Which means I’m a PANSY. So, my goal was to be gone for 30 minutes and to mostly be jogging. The first 16 minutes in I was doing pretty darn good. But unfortunately, when I glanced at my iPod, I misread the time. So I thought I only had about 5 minutes left. When I looked again a couple minutes later, I had 12 minutes left! Those 12 minutes were pretty tortuerous for two reasons. 1) Time went by slow, and 2) I kept burping up my burrito. Whenever I burped I had to stop jogging. Blech.

But it was a delicious burrito.

I was pretty proud of myself though. I mean I did a pretty good job of doing mostly jogging. I’d say I jogged 90% of the time and walked 10% of the time. My goal is to jog for a solid 30 minutes without having to stop to walk.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011


I woke up to my grandma yelling that breakfast was ready. She doesn’t usually cook breakfast for me. But hey, I wasn’t going to complain. Awaiting for me was a bowl of grits, oranges, sour dough toast, and coffee. When I’m in Georgia, I always eat grits with scrambled eggs, and definitely not a huge bowl of it. But I don’t complain about free cooked food for me. I salted and peppered it and it was great. A little too much though. Also, I usually only eat wheat bread, but the sour dough bread was a nice treat. 
When I got to work, there was a disgustingly huge bowl full of every kind of sweet and candy imaginable. There was sees candy, peeps, reeses...just EVERYTHING. So, I grabbed a sees caramel pop. Yeah. 
And THEN, my Aunt Kelly brings in a Monkey Cake. Yeah. A monkey cake. Those things are pure deliciousness and butter. I had a slice. 
I ate lunch about 1:00. I had one slice of leftover pizza, 1 small piece of cheesy bread, and 1 apple. It was definitely filling. 
At about 4:00 I was starting to get a lil bit hungry again. So I ate my grandma’s home-made red velvet and cheesecake cupcake...yeah.
I wasn’t hungry when Bubby made dinner at 6:00. I decided to Zumba today before dinner. Bubby found a whole Zumba dvd set at the library. I always enjoyed Zumba when I went with Jessie, Lorraine, and Melissa at UGA’s rec center. I have to admit that Zumba is a million times more fun when you’re doing it with friends. I usually mess up, but as long as I’m moving, I don’t really care. I don’t think I can do Zumba everyday. As much as I love the Spanish language, I’m not a huge fan of hispanic music. And I know being politically correct it’s not “all the same”, but really...I’m not a fan of any of it. So, as of right now, (and this will probably change since I changed my mind from doing p90x everyday), I want to alternate between Zumba and jogging. I actually like jogging. It’s relatively “easy”. Wait...maybe that’s not a good thing...If anybody is reading this, what are the benefits of jogging to...other stuff? And any jogging tips?
At 8:00 I ate dinner. It was about a cup of alfredo noodles and a leftover piece of cheesy bread. 
I watched So You Think You Can Dance tonight. I love that show. These girls are gorgeous. Dancing is neither a talent nor a hidden talent for me. But what I wouldn’t give for a dancer’s body!
Anyways, between commercials I did sit-ups.
That is all. 

Monday and Tuesday sucked.

Monday 6/27/2011
-2 poached eggs on top of a plain waffle (I was getting creative)
-2 pitas with tuna fish on top.
Dinner:  (P.S. I have no idea why this section is formatted so differently. Dinner just wanted to be different. 
  • baked potato
  • 1 bbq chicken breast
  • 1/2 cup of squash (from grandma and grandpa’s garden!)
  • 1 slice of apple pie
-chocolate chip granola bar

I had absolutely no desire to exercise today. 
Tuesday 6/28/2011
-toasted pita with butter on top
-1 apple
-cup of coffee
-leftover BBQ chicken
-leftover squash
1 chocolate chip granola bar
Sun beam snack bar thingy

For Dinner Bubby ordered a pizza from Papa Murphy's. For you people on the East Coast, Papa Murphy's is a Take and Bake place. You get a "raw" pizza that you cook in your own home. We got a large Cowboy pizza. Which is 3 types of meat (which are all pork) mushrooms, and olives. I asked that they make one side with no meat.

I only ate a bowl of salad, 2 slices of pizza. I was super proud of myself. But then...Bubby ordered cheesy bread too. I had 3 pieces and felt disgusting. And to top it off, Bubby had made red velvet cake cupcakes. Yeah...thanks!
Diet RUINED! haha

Of course, I had no desire to exercise. 

Sunday, June 26, 2011


I will describe the past two days as a FAIL! Basically, I didn’t get a chance to record anything I ate because I was helping with Relay and Life. So I pretty much sncaked all day. And I didn’t get a chance to do the P90x Aerobics on friday, or Saturday. 
Which brings me to today. I didn’t record what I ate today either, but I will definitely start again fresh Monday. 
I decided to finally do the P90x aerobics today. I was really looking forward to it. I got 30 minutes through it and it froze up on me. I couldn’t watch the last 20 minutes of it. After a few well deserved curse words, I grabbed my ipod and went for a mile jog. 
I don’t usually bring my ipod when I jog, mostly because it’s my iphone and i don’t want to drop it. But jogging with music was super epic. the first song that came on was Black & White. Listening to music while jogging made me feel like, I was in the montage sequence for a romantic comedy....which gave me more incentive to keep jogging. haha. 
It was so hot. I wanted to jog for 30 minutes, but only made it for 20 minutes. But combined with the 30 minutes of aerobics that was an hour of exercising. 
I actually enjoy jogging. I’m not very good at it. But my body craves it. I’ve never been able to run a straight up mile without stopping. So, that’s another summer goal that I have. Run a mile. 
I think they are like unicorns. 
I’ve never seen ‘em. 
I’ve never felt ‘em. 
But people assure me they exist. 
Has anyone else ever experienced these “endorphins”?

Friday, June 24, 2011


So what exactly are my goals?
Well, longterm would be to be 160 pounds and a size 12. Honestly, I don’t think I could ever be below 150 pounds. I like curves in a woman. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. I tried looking for a woman who has my ideal look, but I couldn’t find any cuz it’s just a bunch of nasty looking skinny girls. But I have noticed that there are some girls on So You Think You Can Dance who have amazing bodies. They are big-er, defintely not a super model, but they exude power and elegance. I’ll try to find some pictures.  
And short term goals...hmm...well, I’m in California until mid-August. My goal is to come back to Georgia without obvious cellulite and without my thighs touching. I have no idea how realistic that is. I don’t want to give a weight number, because I don’t even know if my grandparents own a scale. I probably should invest in one. It might be encouraging...but then again...
What am I saying? Of course it’ll be encouraging, because the pounds are going to fall off this summer. 
Peace & Blessings