I decided to jog Sunday morning instead of Sunday night because I was going to a family BBQ.
I put my ipod on shuffle. The first song that came on my ipod was a weepy song by Ingrid Michelson. Something about losing her man. I listened to it all the way because it had a good beat. But, I was slightly perturbed. I wanted to hear something empowering to women. Not something crying out for lost love. Well, I got my wish, because the next song up was the Cell Block Tango from Chicago. I’d say, that was by far the polar opposite. “He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.” Yes, a song about 6 women who killed their lousy husbands. Now that’s empowering. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to completely empower me. Because my jog sucked. I dunno if it was because I jogged at 8:30 a.m. instead of 8:30 p.m., or if I forgot to take my iron supplement, or I hadn’t eaten anything that day. But it was uber difficult. I barely could jog a mile, and I took turns jogging/walking back the second mile.
Somehow I feel like it’s all connected. Self-worth, exercise, sex, men, attraction. I don’t want it to be connected.
I decided that it won’t be.
If only I can convince my brain.