Saturday, July 30, 2011

This is what Santa looks like jogging.

This weekend I am house/pet sitting at my aunt and uncle’s house. It’s a quiet little part of West Sacramento. Slightly in the country. I’ve jogged here with my Aunt Tammy several times.
Yesterday (friday night) was the first time that I have jogged in slightly over a week. I’ve done this before. Whenever I start up exercising after a “vacation” I feel like it’s going to be really tough on my body. But my body is super sneaky. Last night felt too easy. I jogged my two miles in 25 minutes. It’s like my body’s like, “Hey, Becky, this wasn’t hard. DO IT ALL THE TIME!” I suspect that tonight will be tough, though on me. 
I think I actually jogged a mile and half without having to stop to walk! But I’m a terrible judge of distances. When I jog and wear glasses I have to push them down my nose and look like Santa Claus. When I tried to wear them normally against my face they would move up and down while I jogged. It was like I was momentarily blind. Hence, Santa Claus style of wearing my glasses down at the bottom of my nose. I’m sure I looked ridiculous. But I like seeing.
I think I do better when I’m jogging alone then with another person. I’m a very contemplative person. It’s a good time to clear your thoughts. Especially out here in this countryside. I passed lots of fields. It was beautiful. I’ve noticed that when I jog with my Aunt Tammy I seem to do worse. I haven’t figured out yet why that is the case. 
Change of subject, I can’t imagine anything better then finding a perfect harmony to fit a song you’re listening to. 

Friday, July 29, 2011

I am not dead.

I am not dead. I have had four people remind me that I have not written recently. Thanks for looking at for me guys. Since people are reading this I know I have to do this!
Wow, I have not exercised in about a week. But I can honestly say it has not been because I didn’t feel like it. It’s been a pretty busy week. My cousin gave birth to her son, Boston James Clark. He’s so stinking cute and has a head full of black hair. My brothers were here over the weekend and I visited them and my grandmother in Nevada. I’m house/pet sitting my Aunt and Uncle’s house. 
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I do that from time to time. And I’ve discovered a flaw in my logic. I seem to be subconsciously  telling myself that when I lose X amount of weight THEN I’ll be attractive and I’ll love myself better. Loving myself seems to have conditions. But, what I need to do is love myself unconditionally now. The way I am today. I need to love myself with the cellulite. I need to love myself even if my skin is pasty white. I need to love myself even though my thighs touch, even though my hair is  curly. 
I’m not entirely sure how to do that. I’ve been told and I read somewhere that one ought to give themselves true compliments. I need to thank my body for taking me this far. I need to thank my legs for allowing me to walk. I need to thank my skin for not giving me skin cancer. I need to thank my hair for not receding yet. haha. 
How do you love yourself? 

Friday, July 22, 2011

This is what I have to say.

I’ve been mentally in a pretty crappy place this past week. Becky the bully is super mean to me. She keeps telling me that I’m wasting my time. I’m on my way to believing her.

But I think I know why I’m not making much progress. I keep convincing that all I need to do is jog my two miles every night and the 50 pounds will magically drop off. I think I’m delusional.

I work with a girl named Sukhi who has lost 30 pounds by doing this very strange diet where she has two days of drinking just milk and water and two days of eating just vegetables. She’s cut all carbohydrates from her diet. I think that’s incredibly extreme. But extreme seems to be the way to achieve weight loss, and I’m not sure that I’m willing to be severe in my daily diet.

Things I have changed: I don’t eat after 8 p.m. I know that It’s probably supposed to be after 6, but I used to ate late in to the night. I’m conscious when I eat…wait, I don’t mean that I’m awake when I eat…but of course I am, I mean to see that I am aware when I eat. I’m looking at portions and always asking myself if I’m full or just want it. Right now it seems to be working only half the time. I’ll tell myself that I deserve this extra helping. But, it’s a work in progress.

This past Monday I went jogging with my Aunt Tammy at her place. She can only do it right after work, which is about 6:00 p.m. It was pretty awful. It was so hot and the sun was beating down on me. She asked me before hand if I wanted to try for 2.5 miles instead of 2. Overexcited me said “2.5!” Ugh. That was not enjoyable. I jogged about a mile without stopping, but after that I was walking/jogging/walking/jogging. It took us about 40 minutes to do the 2.5 miles.

On Tuesday, I had no desire to do ANYTHING!

On Wednesday, my brothers came into California. They are visiting the West Coast for about 10 days. My brother Daniel said he wanted to go out and jog with me. We went out about 9:00. Ordinarily I wouldn’t jog that late, but I felt that since I had my bro with me, he would protect me from rapists. Hah. I felt like I was dragging him down with my pace and general out-of-shape-ness, but he really challenged me to keep going;. I jogged a mile, walked for about 4 minutes, and then pretty much jogged the rest of the second mile. He was super encouraging to me.

On Thursday, I ate dinner at 5:30. I thought for sure that it would be early enough for it to be digested in time to go jogging at 8:30. But, I think it was such a heavy meal, that I still felt super full. Jogging on a full stomach gives me cramps. So I didn’t jog tonight. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to jog until Sunday. I’m going to Nevada this weekend to visit my grandma. But I know for sure that she’ll feed my pretty healthy. I have that to look forward to.

So, I’m at work and can’t write anymore. Hopefully I’ll update on Sunday.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Becky the bully and her new jogging shoes.

On Wednesday I went through some sort of weird mild depression “thing” that I hadn't felt since Middle School. It may have been partly because I wasn’t going to be able to go the midnight showing of Harry Potter premiere, but I think a lot of it was stupid female emotional rationalizing. I was feeling frustrated with the lack of results I was seeing in my body. I’ve read and seen so many cases where people’s clothes start to feel looser, or they lost such and such inches in Blank amount time. I honestly don’t feel any different. If anything, I think I gained weight in the form of more cellulite. I’m not weighing myself, but I can see more cellulite on the back of my thighs. I kept throwing insult after insult to myself and I made myself cry when I went for my jog that night. One of the insults being that no man would find me attractive until I lost 30 pounds. I felt better after I went for the jog...and after I cried at my stupid self.
On Thursday I had absolutely no interest in doing any form of exercise.
On Friday night I saw Harry Potter during my regular exercising time.
On Saturday I ate a lot of carbs. And then went for a 30 minute jog. It was nice. Actually, it felt really great.
On Sunday, I bought some new running shoes. They feel amazing. They are the brand Avia, which I’ve never heard of, and they were $39.99. When I wear them, I feel like my feet are all bundled and swaddled like baby Jesus on Christmas day. However, I had a pretty crappy jog tonight. I jogged for 10 minutes and just had no energy to keep walking. I walked for another 10 minutes. I tried to jog for the last 10 minutes, but I could only jog for about 4 minutes. I think it’s because I didn’t I take an iron pill today. 
Tomorrow I’m planning on jogging with my aunt Tammy down at her place. So, hopefully I’ll have motivation to jog the whole time. 

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

And my body was stronger than my mind.

For some strange reason I wasn’t that hungry at breakfast. Now, I know a lot of people who are like “Blech, I can’t eat breakfast in the morning or I’ll throw up!” This blows my mind. I’m ALWAYS hungry for breakfast. I mean, you’ve been starving for probably 8 hours. Anyways, I didn’t feel hungry when I woke up. But I ended up eating about 9 strawberries and a cup of coffee. I kept debating with myself that I should eat more, cuz knowing myself I’ll be hungry in an hour... when I won’t have access to a delicious breakfast. I ended up with not eating anything else before work. 
But, I was right. I brought a Pomegranate Odwalla bar to work. That did a pretty good job of tiding me over until lunch. 
For lunch I had a toasted bagel with cream cheese topped with smoked salmon. I also had a peach. it was deeeee-licious! I heart smoked salmon.
At about 3:00 I ate a Special K bar for a snack.
After work, the Bubs had dinner all ready to go when I got in at 5:30. 
It was a pulled beef (I think that’s what you call pulled pork, but with beef...), with baked fries. I was not feeling the salad at all. I know, that I’m suppose to have some green on my plate, but I just didn’t want it. Plus, I don’t like the salad mix my grandma buys. I like more of a spinach base, and the one she buys is more of a romaine lettuce base. 
At 8:13 I started my jog. I told myself that I would stop jogging at 8:45, so that would be 32 minutes. I’m trying to work my way up. And, I was feeling goooood today. I jogged a whole 20 minutes, which I think is just shy of a mile and a half without stopping to walk! I was so proud of myself. I kept telling myself I would stop, but my body was like, “Hell, no, Becky. You got this. Keep going.” It was really awesome. However, one thing I noticed, is that I’m not panting as hard, feeling like I worked as hard when I forced started. Does this mean I’m plateauing? I think tomorrow I will try sprinting after I hit my mile marker. 
This whole jogging journey has been so incredible for me. It’s definitely a very, very slow process, but it’s coming together. I was reading some Facebook notes that I wrote from two summers ago about my exercise habits. And I back then I could only jog for five minutes at a time before I had to stop and walk. I’m just really proud of myself. I jogged almost a mile and a half...about 20 minutes before I had to stop and walk.
Any runners out there?
How do you switch it up so you don’t plateau?

Monday, July 11, 2011

I have nothing interesting to say.

Breakfast: one piece of leftover breakfast casserole from yesterday morning. (contains eggs, potatoes, cheese, onions... and other seasoned goodness), one orange, one cup of coffee with a spot of cream.
Lunch: a delicious turkey and cheese sandwich on wheat with spinach, tomato, purple onions, mayo and mustard, a cup of apple sauce, a handful of pomegranate raisin things....
snack: blueberry special k bar, a granola bar
dinner: piece of steak, mashed potatoes, and a medley of corn, carrots, and peas.
dessert: apple pie and yogurt ice cream.
I didn’t feel like exercising today. 

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Gah, I need new running shoes.

Today was a pretty lazy day. I never sleep in, but today I slept in till 10:20. The grandma made some sort of egg casserole thing with onions and cheese on it. It was accompanied by a bagel lightly toasted, a cup of OJ, and a cup of coffee.
I didn’t really get hungry for lunch, which is weird for me. But I ended up eating a leftover cupcake from the shower and a peach. 
At 6:00, my grandparents went down the street to a BBQ, and told me they would bring me back whatever was there for dinner. But I was getting hungry. So I snacked on a handful of kettle chips dipped in hummus and a handful of carrots. Grandma brought me back a plate of food with macaroni salad, a small chicken breast and two small pieces of steak. I knew it was too much food. But I ate it all. 
I was really excited about my jog tonight. Especially with the realization that I can jog a mile. I decided to experiment with my jogging “style”, I tried running, not jogging for a little ways. But I noticed that my legs felt uneven. It felt kinda like I was hopping on one leg and not the other. I had the urge to just hop on the other leg so it would feel even, but I knew that would look absolutely ridiculous. So, I jogged to the mile point, (it took 14 minutes), but my left foot started hurting. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t stretch correctly, I was running instead of jogging, or if I need new shoes. I suspect that I need new jogging shoes. I’m not entirely sure what shinsplints are, but I imagine that this is what it felt like. 
It wasn’t excruciating pain, but I kept thinking “What if I injure myself?” I currently don’t have medical insurance since I graduated from college, so I mostly walked back on the second mile home. I was pretty upset with myself. 
As I write this, I must comment on the soreness of my left butt cheek. 
That is all. 


This is one of my favorite songs.
I found it appropriate to post here.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

*Insert inspirational quote about a journey, and walking, and taking a step*

This morning I came downstairs and all I wanted to eat for breakfast was a toasted bagel with cream cheese and smoke salmon. But my grandmother had been up since 5 a.m. cooking baked goods for my cousin’s baby shower. There was a red velvet cupcake, about 80 cupcakes, and probably 30 sugar cookies. I was FORCED to eat a sugar cookie and a cupcake. About an hour later I was finally able to make that bagel.
We got to the baby shower and there was dessert EVERYWHERE. There was cupcakes, there was coffee cake, there were muffins, there was Mike and Ikes on each table, then there was caramel popcorn, there was two types of quiche...what wasn’t there to eat?
First, I snacked on the Mike and Ikes. I dunno how many I had. I’d like to say less than a box that you would buy at the movie theaters...We can only hope. Then I had a plate of quiche with veggies in it, a tiny sliver of coffee cake, and a medley of grapes, strawberries, and I think raspberries. Then I ate a few more Mike and Ikes. Then I munched on a few pieces of caramel popcorn. Then I was forced to eat another cupcake. Then I pulled pretzels out and dipped them in hummus. 
I think that was it for snacking.
When I got home to the grandparents’ I had 2 pieces of strawberry licorice. It’s not even good. Why do I do this to myself?
For dinner, I made myself a roast beef sandwich with provolone cheese, pickles, tomatoes, and purple onions. I dipped my sandwich into hummus between bites. I then had a piece of string cheese, and a plate of strawberries and cottage cheese.
Eating was a fail today. I ate too much dairy and too many sweets. I’m surprised I didn’t go into a junk food comma.
In other news, I CAN STRAIGHT UP JOG A MILE!  And apparently I’ve been doing this for over a week. 
Earlier today my aunt suggested I run to a certain street, Park Street to be exact. After dropping me off from the baby shower, she texted me and told me that it was a mile from my grandparents’ house to Park Street. 
So, if my math serves me correctly a mile there and a mile back is 2 miles. I jogged all the way to Park Street without stopping. Well, I had to wait for a light to change in order to cross the street, but that’s different than having to walk because you just can’t jog anymore. I checked my phone. I jogged a mile in 12 minutes. I kept going. I had to stop jogging and walk for four minutes, but then it was business as usual. 
I stopped jogging at exactly at 30 minutes. And jogging for 30 minutes is two miles.
My favorite part about jogging is the cool down walk after my jog. I tuck my tummy in, a fancy phrase for suckin’ it in, and I roll my shoulders back and for some odd reason I feel attractive in that cool down. 
I’m still waiting for the fabled endorphins. Maybe you only get them if you jog for 31 minutes. 

Friday, July 8, 2011

he ran. he is happy.

Thanks, Ellie for the inspiration!
I love this. This could be me.


I forgot to mention that I feel thinner. It's not something I can put into tangible measurements. I don't know if I can even say that I have less cellulite on my thighs. Maybe I'm only appreciating my hard work and liking myself better for it. Maybe I have higher self esteem. All I know is that I have more love for the girl looking at me in the mirror.

A new adventure in the jogging world.

I don’t want to talk about Fourth of July Weekend.
I forgot to write down what I ate yesterday. But I went jogging for 30 minutes. It was my favorite jog yet. I jogged all around West Sacramento. In my previous jogs, I have stuck mainly to the little neighborhood that my grandparents live in. It has lots of little houses. A couple of days ago, I decided to venture out on the main road, West Capitol for 8 minutes of my jog. I passed lots of hotels and Mexican restaurants, and gas stations. I liked the view better. 
So anyways, yesterday I jogged passed the Raleys Grocery Store, the library, the community college, another grocery store, and finally back in the little neighborhood of my grandparents. The only thing I didn’t like was since I was jogging in the city, I had to wait for the stop lights. That sucked. When I would stop, I could tell that fellow stopped cars would eye me curiously. I did not like this. At one stop light a guy on a bike tried to do cool bike tricks to impress me. Sorry bike guy, I wasn’t impressed. 
It’s becoming easier and easier to jog for longer distances at a time. I think that I straight up jogged for 20 minutes, then walked for 4 then jogged the rest of the way. I want to eventually be able to jog for straight up 30 minutes without stopping to walk. And then who knows, maybe jog for a straight up hour! Now that’s a goal!
Today (July 8, 2011)
I woke up and made myself a bowl of honey nut cheerios in almond milk. Then I ate a banana and a glass of OJ.
At work, I ate a blueberry Special K bar.
For lunch, I had leftover dinner from last night. That included lasagna, squash from the grandparent’s garden, and a cup of Greek yogurt with blueberries in it for dessert. 
I have found myself being incredibly hungry between 4:00ish till dinner. So, I brought a granola bar. I can’t remember the brand. It’s pretty substantial though. 
My grandmother didn’t want to cook for dinner. And that’s alright with me. She wanted to get Papa Murphy’s pizza, which is a take and bake pizza. But I suggested In and Out since I wanted to go there before I left Cali. She said that was a good idea. 
For those on the East Coast, In and Out has a pretty good reputation not quite different from Chick-Fil-A. They make their fries fresh from actual potatoes everyday, not frozen! Each restaurant is privately owned and not franchised. And their burgers are pretty tasty!
I ordered hamburger with lots of delicious veggies on it and the fries. It was amazing. Pretty great portion size. 
I had every intention of going for a jog after dinner. I even changed in to my jogging clothes. But then I went up stairs sat on the couch because it felt so nice and warm and fell asleep for two hours.  I think I may have had an “iron deficiency crash”. I’m not even sure if that’s what it’s called, or if that’s what’s even happening. All I know is that I can tell if I don’t have enough iron I have an incredibly urge to stop everything and sleep. Which is weird that I would have one today, because I took to pills this morning.” Anyways, I woke up at 9:30 p.m. I refuse to jog in the dark. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow. 

Friday, July 1, 2011

Becky and the burping burritos.

June 30th

I’m trying to remember everything from yesterday.
Let’s see, I woke up and had breakfast. It was a cup of coffee, a bowl of Raisin Bran Crunch, and an apple.

As I may have mentioned in an earlier post, pizza is the bane of my healthy diet’s existence. So, to my great fortune, today was my cousin’s last day working at All Phase, so my aunt bought pizza. Yeah. I didn’t do so bad though. I had one slice of the combo pizza. (I had to pull off all the meat. Stupid, dirty pork!) And then I had about a cup and a half of leftover pasta, and then an apple.

When my Papa picked me up from work he informed me that we would be going out to eat for Mexican food. Yum. I love Mexican. We went to a cute little hole-in-the-wall placed called Emma’s.

I ordered a beef taco, a cheese enchilada, and beans on the side. And of course, there was chips and salsa. Mexican food is pretty heavy. Which I had forgotten about.
So, I was feeling pretty stuffed.

I decided to do a jog today. Now, every time that I jog it’s either too hot or don’t bring some sort of time piece. This means I’m usually only gone for 20 minutes. Which means I’m a PANSY. So, my goal was to be gone for 30 minutes and to mostly be jogging. The first 16 minutes in I was doing pretty darn good. But unfortunately, when I glanced at my iPod, I misread the time. So I thought I only had about 5 minutes left. When I looked again a couple minutes later, I had 12 minutes left! Those 12 minutes were pretty tortuerous for two reasons. 1) Time went by slow, and 2) I kept burping up my burrito. Whenever I burped I had to stop jogging. Blech.

But it was a delicious burrito.

I was pretty proud of myself though. I mean I did a pretty good job of doing mostly jogging. I’d say I jogged 90% of the time and walked 10% of the time. My goal is to jog for a solid 30 minutes without having to stop to walk.