This is what I have to say.

I’ve been mentally in a pretty crappy place this past week. Becky the bully is super mean to me. She keeps telling me that I’m wasting my time. I’m on my way to believing her.

But I think I know why I’m not making much progress. I keep convincing that all I need to do is jog my two miles every night and the 50 pounds will magically drop off. I think I’m delusional.

I work with a girl named Sukhi who has lost 30 pounds by doing this very strange diet where she has two days of drinking just milk and water and two days of eating just vegetables. She’s cut all carbohydrates from her diet. I think that’s incredibly extreme. But extreme seems to be the way to achieve weight loss, and I’m not sure that I’m willing to be severe in my daily diet.

Things I have changed: I don’t eat after 8 p.m. I know that It’s probably supposed to be after 6, but I used to ate late in to the night. I’m conscious when I eat…wait, I don’t mean that I’m awake when I eat…but of course I am, I mean to see that I am aware when I eat. I’m looking at portions and always asking myself if I’m full or just want it. Right now it seems to be working only half the time. I’ll tell myself that I deserve this extra helping. But, it’s a work in progress.

This past Monday I went jogging with my Aunt Tammy at her place. She can only do it right after work, which is about 6:00 p.m. It was pretty awful. It was so hot and the sun was beating down on me. She asked me before hand if I wanted to try for 2.5 miles instead of 2. Overexcited me said “2.5!” Ugh. That was not enjoyable. I jogged about a mile without stopping, but after that I was walking/jogging/walking/jogging. It took us about 40 minutes to do the 2.5 miles.

On Tuesday, I had no desire to do ANYTHING!

On Wednesday, my brothers came into California. They are visiting the West Coast for about 10 days. My brother Daniel said he wanted to go out and jog with me. We went out about 9:00. Ordinarily I wouldn’t jog that late, but I felt that since I had my bro with me, he would protect me from rapists. Hah. I felt like I was dragging him down with my pace and general out-of-shape-ness, but he really challenged me to keep going;. I jogged a mile, walked for about 4 minutes, and then pretty much jogged the rest of the second mile. He was super encouraging to me.

On Thursday, I ate dinner at 5:30. I thought for sure that it would be early enough for it to be digested in time to go jogging at 8:30. But, I think it was such a heavy meal, that I still felt super full. Jogging on a full stomach gives me cramps. So I didn’t jog tonight. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to jog until Sunday. I’m going to Nevada this weekend to visit my grandma. But I know for sure that she’ll feed my pretty healthy. I have that to look forward to.

So, I’m at work and can’t write anymore. Hopefully I’ll update on Sunday.