Sunday, July 17, 2011

Becky the bully and her new jogging shoes.

On Wednesday I went through some sort of weird mild depression “thing” that I hadn't felt since Middle School. It may have been partly because I wasn’t going to be able to go the midnight showing of Harry Potter premiere, but I think a lot of it was stupid female emotional rationalizing. I was feeling frustrated with the lack of results I was seeing in my body. I’ve read and seen so many cases where people’s clothes start to feel looser, or they lost such and such inches in Blank amount time. I honestly don’t feel any different. If anything, I think I gained weight in the form of more cellulite. I’m not weighing myself, but I can see more cellulite on the back of my thighs. I kept throwing insult after insult to myself and I made myself cry when I went for my jog that night. One of the insults being that no man would find me attractive until I lost 30 pounds. I felt better after I went for the jog...and after I cried at my stupid self.
On Thursday I had absolutely no interest in doing any form of exercise.
On Friday night I saw Harry Potter during my regular exercising time.
On Saturday I ate a lot of carbs. And then went for a 30 minute jog. It was nice. Actually, it felt really great.
On Sunday, I bought some new running shoes. They feel amazing. They are the brand Avia, which I’ve never heard of, and they were $39.99. When I wear them, I feel like my feet are all bundled and swaddled like baby Jesus on Christmas day. However, I had a pretty crappy jog tonight. I jogged for 10 minutes and just had no energy to keep walking. I walked for another 10 minutes. I tried to jog for the last 10 minutes, but I could only jog for about 4 minutes. I think it’s because I didn’t I take an iron pill today. 
Tomorrow I’m planning on jogging with my aunt Tammy down at her place. So, hopefully I’ll have motivation to jog the whole time. 


  1. Glad you're being honest with yourself in the process. Remember, you are beautiful! Say it to yourself over and over until you really believe it.

  2. You are a gorgeous girl and weight doesn't matter to the RIGHT guy. I met my husband when I weighed my heaviest and now we're working together to lose weight.