Sunday, July 17, 2011

Becky the bully and her new jogging shoes.

On Wednesday I went through some sort of weird mild depression “thing” that I hadn't felt since Middle School. It may have been partly because I wasn’t going to be able to go the midnight showing of Harry Potter premiere, but I think a lot of it was stupid female emotional rationalizing. I was feeling frustrated with the lack of results I was seeing in my body. I’ve read and seen so many cases where people’s clothes start to feel looser, or they lost such and such inches in Blank amount time. I honestly don’t feel any different. If anything, I think I gained weight in the form of more cellulite. I’m not weighing myself, but I can see more cellulite on the back of my thighs. I kept throwing insult after insult to myself and I made myself cry when I went for my jog that night. One of the insults being that no man would find me attractive until I lost 30 pounds. I felt better after I went for the jog...and after I cried at my stupid self.
On Thursday I had absolutely no interest in doing any form of exercise.
On Friday night I saw Harry Potter during my regular exercising time.
On Saturday I ate a lot of carbs. And then went for a 30 minute jog. It was nice. Actually, it felt really great.
On Sunday, I bought some new running shoes. They feel amazing. They are the brand Avia, which I’ve never heard of, and they were $39.99. When I wear them, I feel like my feet are all bundled and swaddled like baby Jesus on Christmas day. However, I had a pretty crappy jog tonight. I jogged for 10 minutes and just had no energy to keep walking. I walked for another 10 minutes. I tried to jog for the last 10 minutes, but I could only jog for about 4 minutes. I think it’s because I didn’t I take an iron pill today. 
Tomorrow I’m planning on jogging with my aunt Tammy down at her place. So, hopefully I’ll have motivation to jog the whole time. 

2 comments:

  1. Glad you're being honest with yourself in the process. Remember, you are beautiful! Say it to yourself over and over until you really believe it.

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  2. You are a gorgeous girl and weight doesn't matter to the RIGHT guy. I met my husband when I weighed my heaviest and now we're working together to lose weight.

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