Friday, October 5, 2012

Anger: And it ain't righteous.

I’m incredibly thankful and grateful that I have a job.
And a job that is closely related to what I studied.
That’s more than I can say for a lot of people with college degrees in this damn recession.

But, today I’m so mad at God that I could scream.
And the funny thing is that I have absolutely no reason to be mad at God.

I’m angry that my job doesn’t pay for moving costs.
I’m angry that I didn’t start my job until 17 days after I was supposed to.
I’m angry that I’ve become $1,800 in debt for moving out here.
I’m angry that I have to keep borrowing money from my parents for gas money.
I’m angry that I have to mooch food off my roommate.
I’m angry that I haven’t gotten paid yet.
I’m angry that I don’t have a Philly best friend.
I’m angry that nobody touches me—nobody hugs me.
I’m angry that I can’t afford to explore the city.
I’m angry that for the first time since “reaching” adulthood, I really miss my family.
I’m angry that I am listening to emo music as I type this.
And, I’m angry that it’s Friday night, and I’m writing this blog.

None of this really has to do with God at all.
But I’ve decided to blame Him.
We humans like our scapegoats.

And, I know all of my grievances are completely temporary and first worldly on the problem scale.
But writing helps me process things.
And I just moved.
So, I’m allowed to have an emotional breakdown, right?

Any sort of encouragement is desired from my virtual peers.
Just don’t use clichés.
I likes jokes, too.


  1. Being poor makes you more creative? As well as lacking friends? You could make a chair your friend...that's what I did when I was in a low place. But seriously, tonight some of us went out and your name came up at least 8 times, and we even took the time to tell people about how awesome you are and warn them that everyone would probably be talking about you. Yes, you are very missed, but this just indicates that you'll make good friends in Philly soon. Keep your chin (supported by your lovely neck) up!

  2. I wish I was feeling creative, hah!
    You're such a dear. Your message makes me feel warm inside. Like somebody peed on my soul. I miss you guys so much.
    It's really great to know that I haven't been forgotten.

  3. i LOVE this list I have one too and so funny because its just like this i can so relate like 70% RELATE UGH